It's that time again... no, not tool time!

Hi, this is Matt Pacey, filling in for Uncle Travelling Matt. I'm sorry to have to say this, but Uncle Matt fell out of an airplane, died, and his head exploded. So he'll be in the hospital for a few days while he recovers. I thought I'd just post a story you might enjoy while you wait. Here it is, a story written in the style of an urban legend that I call...

'URBAN LEGEND'
or, 'I heard it from a friend of a friend of mine'.

Ok, so this woman's driving home from work. It's kind of snowy out. It's getting late, and she has to get home soon so she can drive her daughter to ringette. Driving on the highway, the roads were ok, but as soon as she hit the streets of her town, it was horrible. None of the roads had been plowed and she was driving through a couple of inches of slush. She was just driving along, minding her own business, when, WHAM! Something hit her windshield!
Those damned kids hanging around the corner store were throwing snowballs again.
She looked back at them in anger, and thought to herself, "Stupid kids! They could cause an accident!"
And they almost did! When she turns her eyes back to the road, she sees a baby in a purple snowsuit running across the street! She hit on the brakes, but with all the slush, she started to slide out of control! Luckily, she managed to stop, just in time. Another child, presumaby the girl's older sister, runs up to the baby and grabs her by the hand, walking her off the street. The older girl waves to the driver, but the woman just glares at the girl, then drives on. So, finally, she gets home, and honks her horn as she drives into the driveway. Her daughter opens the door, and steps out, lugging a gym bag behind her. The woman opens her door and yells "Hurry up! We're gonna be late!" The daughter throws her bag in the trunk, and hops in the back seat. It's getting pretty late, and the sun's gone down behind the horizon by this time. They gotta get moving if they're going to make it to the practice in time. So there they are, driving down the road and they're almost at the corner store when all of a sudden, they hear a SPLAT against the front of the car!
"Fuck those damned kids!" screamed the mother, apparently oblivious to the fact that her daughter was in the back. "They could cause an accident!"
While she's looking around to see where the snowball came from, she feels something THUD against the front of the automobile.
"Those bastards!" she thought to herself. "Probably built a snowman in the middle of the road again! They should be in some kind of institution!"
So there they are driving along, when, all of a sudden, the woman sees a streak of blood sliding up the windshield! They must have hit some kind of animal! People shouldn't let their pets just run free in the streets, the woman thinks. They're driving along, and more blood is sliding up the windshield.
Where is all that blood coming from, she wonders? Did whatever it was get stuck to the car? Ugh, she doesn't like the thought of having to remove a dead splattered thing from her car's grill. Just then, they arrive at the arena. She drives into the parking lot, and looks for a space. All the while, people are staring at the front of her car, shocked looks on their faces. It must be pretty messy then, she thinks. She REALLY doesn't want to see the damage now. She doesn't want too much attention drawn to her car, so she drives around and parks behind the arena. So, she opens her door and gets out. Her daughter steps out and runs to the trunk to get her bag.
The woman really doesn't want to look at the front of her car, but she wonders how bad it must look to make everyone stare. So she walks around, and when she sees the hood she turns pale, lets out a gasp, and her face twists into an expression of pure horror. A mass of blood, guts, hair, and mashed organs is imbedded in the twisted grill of her car. And it's wearing a purple snowsuit.

Ta ta for now,
--Matthew A. Pacey