The Big Spoon

I saw a giant spoon. It was fifty feet tall and walked like a man. It had arms and legs, which were also spoons, but of smaller sizes, It had fingers and toes, the toes digging small clumps of dirt from the ground as it walked along the dirt road. I was hiding behind the trees, and I could see the trees, and myself, reflected off its shiny steel surface. I followed it along the road until it came to a river. A rainbow opened up across the river, and the river became a lake. The water was white, the colour of milk. The water was milk. The spoon dived in head first. He came up, walking out of the lake, hunched over, his head tipped backwards, and his face full of cereal. Large peices of cereal. Mixed in with seashells and driftwood. He saw me out of the corner of his eye. Or it would have been the corner of his eye, had he any eyes. As it was, he saw me, somehow, and turned towards me.

"It's time for breakfast," he said.

A Day in the Life

My face was melting and I couldn`t stop it. My eyes and chin were dripping down my shirt. My teeth turned to mush, like

jellybeans left out in the sunlight, and popped in my mouth one by one. I couldn`t stop it. My hair was coming out in

clumps. I could feel my larynx contracting and shutting up, before my throat fell out the front of my neck and opened up

to the world, spreading itself open. My head was falling forwards. I tried to straighten up, but my spine just popped out

the back of my neck, and my whole head, deflated like an old balloon, brains squishing out the ripped-open holes of my

ears, dripped down the front of my clothes and down one leg. My whole head had basically turned to pudding while I stood

there. I stumbled around for a while, clueless. I had no idea what was going on. The protruding stub of spine fell off,

as well as the other remains of my neck. The hole sealed itself shut, except for a tiny hole in the center. Blood,

jellied brains, and other miscellaneous goo covered my torso, but nothing a shower and a good scrub wouldn`t get rid of.

I went to the bathroom, stripped off my clothes, and threw them in the garbage. They`re pretty much ruined now. So I

washed myself off, towelled off, and would have admired myself in the mirror, but I had no eyes. I felt the hole between

my shoulders. Already the new mouth was forming, and it`d only be a matter of weeks before everything was back to normal.

But this all could have been avoided if only I`d listened to what my parents had told me all those years before. You

shouldn`t let things get to you, or you jut might lose your head.

Anonymous Space People

She took her face off. There was nothing underneath, not even meat. A gaping whole into the fabric of reality itself. She sat her face on the bedside table, and moved in closer. I stared into the gaping hole, the most beautiful thing I've seen. Empty except for the stars. She embraced me, putting my face up to the empty hole where hers otherwise would have been. My head placed firmly into the hole, all I could see was the abyss. We sat there, crosslegged, on the bed, but all I could see was eternity. Galaxies spiralling, spinning, falling apart or growing cold and collapsing. I sat there for a hundred trillion years. Spiralling clouds of cosmic dust and wayward planets formed themselves into a face, and a hand, that reached out to me. A small, child hand, and it grew into a womans'. I looked down, and saw the fabric of the warp transforming itself into... me. I saw myself, in proportions which could not be humanly comprehended. But I was no longer human. There we were, sitting in space, our bodies bigger thanthe known universe. Moving faster than the speed of light, breathing space and sweating time. We embraced. It was like nothing ever before in the history of humanity. She held me close and we fell in love. She told me we`d be together forever, and we were, throughout eternity, until we collapsed into nothingness, a pure singularity. And with the big bang, we were scattered, our bodies mixed together, homogenous, everywhere. Forever. This was only the beginning. And the end.