Plastic Seal Stuck Under Your Fingernail
Plastic Seal Stuck Under Your Fingernail, a highschool class project by Matthew Arnold Pacey.
"The mutants are taking over the station! They've already taken over reception! The secretaries were charred to a crisp by the aliens' U.V. ray pistols! They're breaking down the doors! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAURGH! THIS IS ROGER Q. SMITH OF ZROH NEWS, SIGNING OFF! AAAAAAAURGH!'
*click*
Microwave oven switched off the television and wend to the kitchen to get something to drink. There was never anything good on since the meteor crashed into the plains of africa, bringing with it the gnomes from another planet. Radioactive, genetically-mutated, bloodsucking gnomes. It was such a drag. CNN had taken over all the major networks, and the local stations played nothing but news about who the gnomes had killed in that city. They had probably sucked about half the world's population dry by now.
Mike was getting thirsty. Mike realized he was all out of water when he opened the fridge, so he got into his car. He wondered why they never showed anything like The Simpsons, or Gordenzenflak's Intergalactic Party Hour on TV anymore. The world was going to end, and everyone knew it. Why couldn't they just approach their doom in peace? Now everyone was all worked up, stealing stereos they wouldn't ever need and such things.
Mike lit up a joint. It helped calm him down. That was his last one, so he'd have to pick some more up at the store while he was there. What was he thinking about again? Ah, yes, the world was ending. It had been ending for a long time now, ever since the ozone layer disappeared and the rainforests started shrivelling up into piles of dead wood. Then there was the whole thing about the planet's freshwater supply drying up, followed by the destruction of the world's food supply boy drought and insects. Luckily, after all this, they came out with the nuclear cold-fusion power cell, which would cause no further pollution. It turns out it had been invented sometime in the 20th century, but they 'forgot about it' on some back shelf somewhere, until about a week after the world's oil supply ran out.
Mike powered down his car when he got to the Quik-Stop, and it floated slowly to the ground. It was parked diagonally across three handicapped spots, but it wasn't like the cops would notice. They were probably off somewhere shooting at some aliens or harassing looters, still thinking they could make a difference. He walked inside and picked out a couple of bottles of choice H2O from the fridge in the corner.
"Hey, J.D.! Could you get me a pack of Leary Extra Strengths, unfiltered?" asked Mike, to the man behind the counter.
"No way, man," the dude replied, "We're all out. It's been a busy week, it being the end of the world and all."
"Wanna go find some with me?"
"Sure. Take those waters for free. End of the world sale."
"Can I get some Gatorades too?"
"Sure. Or else the gnomes will steal them when they've finished drinking all our blood!"
They stepped out onto the parking lot pavement and headed off towards Mike's car, with water and Gatorades in hand.
"Hey dude, I think I have have a pack left at my house," Said J.D. as they entered the automobile. "We can get them and watch some movies on that vintage DVD player I got last week!"
"You got Ghostbusters? asked Mike as he slid up the power initiator.
"I've got both of them! I've got all the classics. Even hard to find ones, like Eraserhead and Star Wars!"
"Well then, let's go!"
Mike turned the 'mode' knob to 'cruise' and pulled out of the parking lot, accidentally knocking over some trash cans. On the way to J.D.'s house, they discussed which Star Wars movie was the best, finally deciding on the final chapter, episode twelve, where we find out the secred behind Jar-Jar Binks and Darth Vader REALLY dies, after savinf the universe from Jar-Jar's evil Jedi army.
A few minutes later, they arrived and proceeded up the rusted metal fire escape leading up to J.D.'s apartment. J.D. pulled a screwdriver from his pocked and pried the window open.
"I lost my keys again," he explained as they stepped through the window onto the living room couch.
All of a sudden, the door at the front of the room was blown clear of its hinges. A gnome stepped through the doorway, pointing her U.V. ray gun in the direction of the two scruffy-looking men by the window.
"She's beautiful!" Thought Microwave to himself.
With her other tentacle, the gnome held up a small device to her mouth. She spoke into it.
"Gggghngsht dccrghln d'chlt m'chtlt gakk harrukt. D'gghnhg d'dnch d'ghlt," she said, which was translated by the device into "My sensors detect that you have Gatorade with you. Give it to me."
The two men stood on the couch, looking stunned. After a few seconds of inaction, Mike finally got down and walked over to the gnome (who put away her weapon) and handed her the Gatorade.
She sat down on the couch, causing J.D. to jump sideways off the couch, knocking over a table, and causiong a porcelain elephant statue to fall onto the purple shag carpet.
"Hi,I'm Microwave Ove, and this is my associate, James Douglas Morrison," Mike said to the gnome in a confident but non-threatening voice. "What brings ou to this apartment?"
"I came here for the Gatorade my sensors picked up," replied the gnome. "You see, Gatorade, or a substance amazingly like it, is the only substance our species can survive on. Besides blood, that is. But we prefer to maintain a vegetarian diet."
"Then what's with all the killing?" asked Mike. "And the bloodsucking?"
"Well," she replied, "When we landed here, your army attacked us. We tried to talk, but they didn't listen."
She sounded traumatized as she spoke these words.
"We had to fight back! Some of us started drinking the blood of the fallen human soldiers. You see, we didn't have enough time to pack food when we left our planet. It was about to explode, and we had to move quickly. The months without food had taken their toll, and when the opportunity to eat arose, we acted. Unfortunately, some of us became addicted to the proteins in the blood, and began terrorizing innocent humans! Most of us tried to stop these few gnomes, but we failed. Now the humans think we're ALL evil! When we try to find food, the humans attack us, and we're forced to fight back!"
She began to weep openly. Mike, who was now sitting beside her on the couch, held her tightly in an attempt to comfort her. The tears falling from her crimson eyes burned where they touched her flesh.
"It's all right!" Mike said in a soft voice. "You didn't mean to hurt anyone! You did what you had to!"
J.D. stood up shakily from the floor where he had fallen.
"J.D.!" Exclaimed Mike, to J.D., "You have government contacts! Try to explain to them what's happening! Tell them to make an announcement to make people stop killing hte gnomes! Tell them about the Gatorade!"
"Okay, Dude!" J.D. said as he made his way to the phone in the kitchen.
"TV!" Said Mike, "Turn to CNN!"
The voice-activated curcuitry in the television turned on the screen, showing footage of a Quik-Stop which had been vapourized after all the Gatorade inside had been stolen.
The gnome had stopped crying, and Mike wiped the wetness of the tears away from her face.
"Are you Okay?" he asked.
"I think I'll be alright," her device translated.
Mike admired the beauty of her smooth purple skin, her large, red-centered eyes, her long, neon-green hair, and her perfectly pointed ears. Then he realized he was staring, and jumped into conversation.
"So, what's your name? What was your planet like? What do you do for fun? Do you wanna go out for pizza sometime? Oops, you don't eat that, do you? How about some..."
He was interrupted as she grabbed his head with her tentacles, and pulled it close, pressing his lips to hers.
J.D. ran back into the room, screaming. "It's too late! The government's going to eliminate everyione to prevent the gnomes from taking over the planet!"
Microwve and the gnome seemed to have not heard.
"You guys, listen to me!" He exclaimed hysterically, to no effect.
A special bulletin came over the television.
"This is your president, Jersey H. Love speaking. As all of you know, gnomes are taking over the planet. To prevent this, I have released a skin-peeling death-plague. Unfortunately, all humans will die as a result. My fellow Earthings, we appreciate your noble sacrifices. You have approximately eleven minutes to live. This is Jersey H. Love, saying goodbye."
The screen went blank, and the TV's speakers began playing a song. It was 'The End', by The Doors.
"You Guys! The world is ending! Hey Dudes! Listen up! We're all gonna die!" J.D. exclaimed repeatedly.
Mike and the gnome didn't seem to be listening. They were too engaged with each other to pay any attention to the outside world. Then their skin peeled off and they all died.
THE END.
"The mutants are taking over the station! They've already taken over reception! The secretaries were charred to a crisp by the aliens' U.V. ray pistols! They're breaking down the doors! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAURGH! THIS IS ROGER Q. SMITH OF ZROH NEWS, SIGNING OFF! AAAAAAAURGH!'
*click*
Microwave oven switched off the television and wend to the kitchen to get something to drink. There was never anything good on since the meteor crashed into the plains of africa, bringing with it the gnomes from another planet. Radioactive, genetically-mutated, bloodsucking gnomes. It was such a drag. CNN had taken over all the major networks, and the local stations played nothing but news about who the gnomes had killed in that city. They had probably sucked about half the world's population dry by now.
Mike was getting thirsty. Mike realized he was all out of water when he opened the fridge, so he got into his car. He wondered why they never showed anything like The Simpsons, or Gordenzenflak's Intergalactic Party Hour on TV anymore. The world was going to end, and everyone knew it. Why couldn't they just approach their doom in peace? Now everyone was all worked up, stealing stereos they wouldn't ever need and such things.
Mike lit up a joint. It helped calm him down. That was his last one, so he'd have to pick some more up at the store while he was there. What was he thinking about again? Ah, yes, the world was ending. It had been ending for a long time now, ever since the ozone layer disappeared and the rainforests started shrivelling up into piles of dead wood. Then there was the whole thing about the planet's freshwater supply drying up, followed by the destruction of the world's food supply boy drought and insects. Luckily, after all this, they came out with the nuclear cold-fusion power cell, which would cause no further pollution. It turns out it had been invented sometime in the 20th century, but they 'forgot about it' on some back shelf somewhere, until about a week after the world's oil supply ran out.
Mike powered down his car when he got to the Quik-Stop, and it floated slowly to the ground. It was parked diagonally across three handicapped spots, but it wasn't like the cops would notice. They were probably off somewhere shooting at some aliens or harassing looters, still thinking they could make a difference. He walked inside and picked out a couple of bottles of choice H2O from the fridge in the corner.
"Hey, J.D.! Could you get me a pack of Leary Extra Strengths, unfiltered?" asked Mike, to the man behind the counter.
"No way, man," the dude replied, "We're all out. It's been a busy week, it being the end of the world and all."
"Wanna go find some with me?"
"Sure. Take those waters for free. End of the world sale."
"Can I get some Gatorades too?"
"Sure. Or else the gnomes will steal them when they've finished drinking all our blood!"
They stepped out onto the parking lot pavement and headed off towards Mike's car, with water and Gatorades in hand.
"Hey dude, I think I have have a pack left at my house," Said J.D. as they entered the automobile. "We can get them and watch some movies on that vintage DVD player I got last week!"
"You got Ghostbusters? asked Mike as he slid up the power initiator.
"I've got both of them! I've got all the classics. Even hard to find ones, like Eraserhead and Star Wars!"
"Well then, let's go!"
Mike turned the 'mode' knob to 'cruise' and pulled out of the parking lot, accidentally knocking over some trash cans. On the way to J.D.'s house, they discussed which Star Wars movie was the best, finally deciding on the final chapter, episode twelve, where we find out the secred behind Jar-Jar Binks and Darth Vader REALLY dies, after savinf the universe from Jar-Jar's evil Jedi army.
A few minutes later, they arrived and proceeded up the rusted metal fire escape leading up to J.D.'s apartment. J.D. pulled a screwdriver from his pocked and pried the window open.
"I lost my keys again," he explained as they stepped through the window onto the living room couch.
All of a sudden, the door at the front of the room was blown clear of its hinges. A gnome stepped through the doorway, pointing her U.V. ray gun in the direction of the two scruffy-looking men by the window.
"She's beautiful!" Thought Microwave to himself.
With her other tentacle, the gnome held up a small device to her mouth. She spoke into it.
"Gggghngsht dccrghln d'chlt m'chtlt gakk harrukt. D'gghnhg d'dnch d'ghlt," she said, which was translated by the device into "My sensors detect that you have Gatorade with you. Give it to me."
The two men stood on the couch, looking stunned. After a few seconds of inaction, Mike finally got down and walked over to the gnome (who put away her weapon) and handed her the Gatorade.
She sat down on the couch, causing J.D. to jump sideways off the couch, knocking over a table, and causiong a porcelain elephant statue to fall onto the purple shag carpet.
"Hi,I'm Microwave Ove, and this is my associate, James Douglas Morrison," Mike said to the gnome in a confident but non-threatening voice. "What brings ou to this apartment?"
"I came here for the Gatorade my sensors picked up," replied the gnome. "You see, Gatorade, or a substance amazingly like it, is the only substance our species can survive on. Besides blood, that is. But we prefer to maintain a vegetarian diet."
"Then what's with all the killing?" asked Mike. "And the bloodsucking?"
"Well," she replied, "When we landed here, your army attacked us. We tried to talk, but they didn't listen."
She sounded traumatized as she spoke these words.
"We had to fight back! Some of us started drinking the blood of the fallen human soldiers. You see, we didn't have enough time to pack food when we left our planet. It was about to explode, and we had to move quickly. The months without food had taken their toll, and when the opportunity to eat arose, we acted. Unfortunately, some of us became addicted to the proteins in the blood, and began terrorizing innocent humans! Most of us tried to stop these few gnomes, but we failed. Now the humans think we're ALL evil! When we try to find food, the humans attack us, and we're forced to fight back!"
She began to weep openly. Mike, who was now sitting beside her on the couch, held her tightly in an attempt to comfort her. The tears falling from her crimson eyes burned where they touched her flesh.
"It's all right!" Mike said in a soft voice. "You didn't mean to hurt anyone! You did what you had to!"
J.D. stood up shakily from the floor where he had fallen.
"J.D.!" Exclaimed Mike, to J.D., "You have government contacts! Try to explain to them what's happening! Tell them to make an announcement to make people stop killing hte gnomes! Tell them about the Gatorade!"
"Okay, Dude!" J.D. said as he made his way to the phone in the kitchen.
"TV!" Said Mike, "Turn to CNN!"
The voice-activated curcuitry in the television turned on the screen, showing footage of a Quik-Stop which had been vapourized after all the Gatorade inside had been stolen.
The gnome had stopped crying, and Mike wiped the wetness of the tears away from her face.
"Are you Okay?" he asked.
"I think I'll be alright," her device translated.
Mike admired the beauty of her smooth purple skin, her large, red-centered eyes, her long, neon-green hair, and her perfectly pointed ears. Then he realized he was staring, and jumped into conversation.
"So, what's your name? What was your planet like? What do you do for fun? Do you wanna go out for pizza sometime? Oops, you don't eat that, do you? How about some..."
He was interrupted as she grabbed his head with her tentacles, and pulled it close, pressing his lips to hers.
J.D. ran back into the room, screaming. "It's too late! The government's going to eliminate everyione to prevent the gnomes from taking over the planet!"
Microwve and the gnome seemed to have not heard.
"You guys, listen to me!" He exclaimed hysterically, to no effect.
A special bulletin came over the television.
"This is your president, Jersey H. Love speaking. As all of you know, gnomes are taking over the planet. To prevent this, I have released a skin-peeling death-plague. Unfortunately, all humans will die as a result. My fellow Earthings, we appreciate your noble sacrifices. You have approximately eleven minutes to live. This is Jersey H. Love, saying goodbye."
The screen went blank, and the TV's speakers began playing a song. It was 'The End', by The Doors.
"You Guys! The world is ending! Hey Dudes! Listen up! We're all gonna die!" J.D. exclaimed repeatedly.
Mike and the gnome didn't seem to be listening. They were too engaged with each other to pay any attention to the outside world. Then their skin peeled off and they all died.
THE END.
Labels: art, blood, creative writing, death, drugs, english, eraserhead, gatorade, gnome, highschool, killer, movies, sci-fi, science fiction, star wars, story
posted by Forkimified at 6:47 PM
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